1.
Explore all types of adoption and learn which is the right "fit" for you:
Domestic vs. international, adopting through foster care, older children
vs. newborn adoption, hosting to adopt, special needs? WHERE DO YOU START?
Keep in mind that the situation can
change quickly, especially in international adoption, and these web sites may not have up-to-the-minute information.
Use these sites for basic information and check with trusted agencies to gather the latest.
2. Explore financial resources available for adoption:
Myth: All adoption processes are expensive.
Fact: The adoption process can be free or nearly so
(U.S. foster care/waiting child adoptions) to yes, tens of thousands of dollars. But if you don't believe the first
option is where you're being lead and don't believe you have the funds for any other type of adoption, don't stop your research
there! Read on...
If God has called
your family to adopt a child, we at Families of Promise firmly believe that He will also make a way for your family financially.
It will no doubt involve faith and risk! It may help you to know that the majority of families are concerned with finances
when considering adoption, but adoptions are happening in these families every day! Check out our Affording Adoption information for resources and creative ideas to help make adoption a reality
for your family.
3. Find the right agency:
Begin by asking friends and relatives for referrals, talk personally to the agency staff you might be working with
and CHECK REFERENCES! The contacts at the agency are the people who will guide you through the sometimes complicated
adoption process and whom you will be working with for months or years! You should definitely like and trust them!
Access the Family Independence Agency, where adoptive applicants can read the state's licensing reports and investigation reports online, to gain some insight
into different Michigan agencies and how well they function. Here you can also ensure that an adoption agency is appropriately
licensed in the state of Michigan. If you are using an out-of-state agency, you will need a local agency to conduct
your home study process. Keep in mind that some local agencies will complete home studies only for
families completing the adoption process with their agency.
4. Educate yourself about the potential
"risks" involved in the type of adoption you choose:
Many times the things God inspires us to do involves risk. Throughout the process of adoption, you will be
asked what "type" of child you are willing to parent. Faith, knowledge and perseverance can be the key
to a successful adoption experience! If you willingly adopt a child who is physically disabled or has emotional difficulties,
educating yourself takes much of the guess work out of parenting children with these conditions and will likely result in
a better experience for all involved. If you decide that you are being lead to parent a healthy child, you must still
be prepared for the potential risk of parenting a child with certain conditions which may be unknown at the time of adoption. Be
realistic about your the type of situation you choose for your existing family, but remain flexible and willing to take on
potential issues that may come up after your new child comes home. Remember that NO child is perfect, but all children
are valued by God!
Here are some subject suggestions and links regarding
issues you may want to explore to best educate yourself about adoption. Some may apply more
than others to the type of adoption you have chosen to pursue:
Explore what types of resources
and services your community and school system offers for potential post-placement adoption needs
Potential
Medical Diagnoses: HIV, Hepatitis, Tuberculosis, Syphilis, Parasitic Infections, Rickets, etc.
Growth Charts: Be prepared to know physical growth norms
for children of different ages. Note that averages and growth
expectations may naturally vary by country.
Check with an medical adoption specialist to know which medical tests should be performed after internationally
adopted children arrive in the U.S. DO NOT expect that the average pediatrician or family doctor will be aware of these
standards. Interview pediatricians about their experience and expertise regarding children adopted internationally before
your child arrives.
Language
barriers and learning a second language
Parenting
a child of a different race/ethnicity
5. Find Support:
A good agency will provide you with thorough information on many of the
above and other topics, depending on the type of adoption you choose. You may also want to join a local
or online support group, which can provide a wealth of pre- and post-adoption information by those who are living it--other
adoptive parents. Seek out other families in your church or Christian community who have experience with adoption, and
can pray for you, support you and guide you through the wide range of experiences and emotions you may encounter on your adoption
journey. Books and magazines can also be a great source of support and inspiration. You can find a wide range
of adoption related books at Tapestry Books, and check out Adoptive Families Magazine. Check out our Local Resources and Links pages to connect with organizations/groups that support pre-adoptive, adoptive and foster families.
| |
| - Facilitating Attachment with your child is also a common concern. Read Top Ten Hits for Successful First Year Parenting by Deborah Gray or read her book,
Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents, published by Perspectives Press, 2002.
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6. Think "flexible":
There are possible complications and delays in the actual process of any adoption
and should, in most cases, be an EXPECTED part of the process. No matter how good your agency is, there are plenty of
factors that even they can't control. Check with your agency about the details associated with the type of adoption
you choose.
7.
Life Books:
Putting together Life Books for our
adopted children is also becoming an important trend in the adoption community. Our adopted children have their adoption
story (how they came to us) and the story of their lives before they were adopted. Quite often the adoption story is
told frequently, complete with photos and memories. The story of their life before adoption, however, is often difficult
to piece together, and there is often little or no information about their birth family.
A Life Book is meant to put as many of the pieces of a child's life before adoption
together as possible, filling in some of the blanks with details we can surmise and obtain to make it truthful and real.
The Life Book can be something a child can have access to throughout his/her life. Here is a good example of a detail
that can be included to make a child's story come to life: "You were born on January 16, 1998" turns into
"You were born on January 16, 1998, a cold and snowy day in the city of St. Petersburg" (weather history for
particular cities is available on some web sites). If you are adopting from out of your area and you are aware of the
possibilities when you make your adoption trip/trips, you will be aware to gather much more information, such as taking photos
and video of places your child knew before coming to an orphanage, foster care, and to you. A good book on this topic is Beth
O'Malley's "Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child."
